i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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