Your tits are I can't wait for
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
