she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
