Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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