I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
