Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize