do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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