So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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