As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
