It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The air taste purple.
Randomize
