You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
