This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize