Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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