he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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