So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
