I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
