I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's shark week go big or go home
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
