You smell like stripper and shame
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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