that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
