What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
