You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize