Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
