I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
