Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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