no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
