I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
