Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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