Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
