So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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