god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
