dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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