it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
