I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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