I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
