There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
