I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
