So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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