FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
