We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
