So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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