There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
