My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
