It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
