id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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