Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
