i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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