brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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