Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
