The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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