ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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