My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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