What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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