Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
