So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
