cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
