YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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