I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
