People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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