it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you didnt know i had herpes?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
