if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
