Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
