i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
