Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
