When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
