one might say we're banned from that church
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's always time for handjobs
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
