I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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